a love letter to books

In 2023, my love for reading grew deeper. I’ve always been a believer in the idea that things (and people) find you at the moment you need it the most, which is exactly how I felt after I picked up each of these books this year.

For me, 2023 was filled with changes. This is (allegedly) a normal and totally expected thing for people in their twenties to experience. The biggest realization I’ve had about change is that while discomfort is inevitable, it’s usually a sign that you’re growing. Even if you’re aware of the adjustment period, your mind can’t help but attempt to find something sturdy to grasp onto.

I think the reason why change is so hard to deal with is because there is inherent uncertainty attached to it. There were many times this year that I found myself feeling desperate for the ground beneath my feet to stop shifting. I constantly had to remind myself that the certainty I craved didn’t exist on the path I’ve chosen.

This year, picking up books provided a level of certainty and comfort that I was looking for. No matter what, I knew I could count on the act of reading to draw me away from numbing myself out doom scrolling and into a place where I’d be sure to learn something new. The more I read this year, the more it was reinforced as a reliable source, a friend I could turn to discover more about the world and myself.

Through reading, I’ve gained a deeper understanding of myself. The kind of understanding that I’ve only ever experienced through my closest relationships. I think when you truly love something or someone, you allow yourself to surrender to it, if only momentarily. You approach it with an open heart and a willingness to connect and be rearranged by what you might find.

I had never cried while reading before. This year, it happened twice. I had to pace myself as I read two of these books because of how much each chapter made me feel. These books opened me up to a richer experience of reading. However slightly, however briefly, these books changed me. And for that, I can only say, thank you.

Edinburgh by Alexander Chee

Total Meditation by Deepak Chopra

Upstream by Mary Oliver

Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn

A Man of Two Faces: A Memoir, A History, A Memorial by Viet Thanh Nguyen

These Precious Days by Ann Patchett

How to Write an Autobiographical Novel by Alexander Chee

Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts

Being Ram Dass by Ram Dass and Rameshwar Das